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  • Lyn Reed

Troubled Relationships

Like these characters in the pic, it is easy to mask our true selves.

Most of us are too concerned about what others think about us. If I spend my time worrying about what other people think of me, then I manipulate my personality and communication either to seek disapproval or avoid disapproval from others.

Because we are keen to avoid that the consequences of our actions are not going to cause us any problems, we alter our behaviour accordingly.

Trouble is, this tends to result in us not being true to ourselves.

We often tell ourselves why we can't do something. We then lose sight of who we actually are. Our identity seems to disappear. We block dialogue, and relationships become stuck.

When we are unhappy within ourselves, we tend to project our unhappiness onto others.

Learning how to communicate challenging matters in a delicate and compassionate manner opens the way to relationships which grow and develop. We begin to find ourselves again. Betraying ourselves is a self-destructive action.

Controlling behaviour or acting out in anger distances us from being genuine. Often it is the case that fear and insecurity are the root of our anger.

We seldom want to be around angry people.

In today's culture of 'fake news' it can be hard to be genuine. Success and achievement seem to be the order of the day. Yet if we are able to break away from insecurity and fear we can find strength within ourselves.

When we free ourselves from worrying about what others think of us, we give ourselves the chance to find the strength to face up to our inner selves,

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