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  • Lyn Reed

Looking for love in all the wrong places......



Being addicted to love - when you crave love and only feel complete when you have it - is like any other addiction.  It dominates your thinking, influences your behaviour and effectively rules your life.


When you are addicted to love you chase the feelings of passion, romance, excitement - single-mindedly.  You are terrified of abandonment.  Every failed relationship you have had convinces you there is something wrong with you.  And this crooked thinking seems to prove you are right.  A self-fulfilling prophecy has been put in place.


If we think we will fail, then the chances are we will.


This repetitive patterns compels us to relieve and repeat the hurt of the past.  You may be attracted to people who are emotionally unavailable.  The obsessive way you approach your relationships condemns you to feeling rejected and unfulfilled.


Trouble is you are attracted to people who cannot possibly meet all your needs.  The real issue is that you are looking for someone or something who will make everything better.  You want other people to tell you that you are okay.  To tell you that you are good enough.


No matter how much love others shower on you it is never enough.


So, instead of giving love to someone who never seems to give it back why not start to show it to yourself.  Get to know yourself.  Ask yourself what you like and dislike.  Give time to yourself.


Deep seated addiction won't go away overnight; but you can start to learn about love addiction (Al-Anon or Co-dependent Anonymous) and how you can get it under control. You can learn to fill that empty space inside with other interests.


Give yourself what you've been trying to get from others.


Tags:

fulfilment love abandonment addiction

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