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  • Lyn Reed

Breaking Bonds with Friends

Ask yourself - does your close circle of friends reflect the real you? Do they share similar goals, ambitions, values?

When we move on in life, we spend more time with people with whom we have something in common. Life attracts more people like us, to us. And time changes people. That's positive and a human given.

Sometimes the past is the only thing we have in common with our friend. The past alone is not likely to sustain the friendship in the long run. The relationship changes and support can be offered, but friendship is about joy. Not pressure and stress.

Don't Expect Others to Change

It can be hard to deal with a situation when the person you spend time with doesn't give it back. We are all on our unique journeys and we move at our own individual pace.

All we have to worry about is ourselves.

Step Back

We often have unrealistic expectations of others; people get busy and don't have time. And that's okay. We tend to stop doing 100 per cent when the other person can only give 50 per cent. Stepping back does not mean running away. It means seeing things differently.

A Serious Betrayal

Some betrayals cannot never be repaired. When these happen it may be time to re-evaluate the friendship and a willingness to remain friends. Where there is ongoing conflict it can be a serious issue in a friendship. We no longer enjoy spending time with this person. Minor conflicts can become big issues when our requests are ignored. We feel disrespected and unappreciated. Healthy friendships are reciprocal and both friends need to equally invest and be motivated to make it work.

Being at different life stages doesn't mean the end of friendship - but it is important to evaluate our friendships to assess if there is commitment on both sides.

Friendship is Not a Bill to be Paid

Sometimes we feel we only see a friend out of duty. Perhaps its time to be less available. We share less. It's gradual. Sometimes we have to say goodbye to friends. This doesn't mean we've failed. Or it's over for good. In the present, the friendship has come as far as it can.

And it's complete. And that's okay.

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