Be assertive this year (2)

As assertiveness is a skill which we can learn, how do we do it?

We can watch out for those who are really good at assertiveness. They are usually quiet but firm individuals. People who struggle to be assertive, or have been silenced within a relationship for many years, whether at home or work, often need help in developing this skill.

It takes time. Unlearning old habits is often very challenging. It is hard to behave assertively when we are feeling anything but.

That's okay. In time we become the way we act.

The key thing to bear in mind is that assertiveness brings empowerment and inner strength; it helps our self-confidence and reinforces our own self-belief. So the rewards can be great.

As with any fundamental change, there is loss. As we become more self aware we may find ourselves having to say goodbye to those who we feel are holding us back or we no longer feel we need in our lives.

And that's okay too.

That's being assertive.

I recommend a couple of books which have helped my clients develop assertiveness skills. 'Toxic People' by Dr Tim Cantopher and.'A Woman in Your Own Right' by Anne Dickson. Both are authoritative, informative and accessible,